I recently bumped into an article on CNN about this actor Don Cheadle getting married to Bridgid Coulter after 28 years of dating. I gasped and questioned why the long wait, but then to each, their own isn’t it? In as much as I want to mind my business, things like these awaken my thoughts and curiosity and make me question how long should you date someone before getting married to them?
You shouldn’t be surprised to hear most people answering this question with the popular answer, ”It depends”. It depends on what? If I may ask…
Personally, I will rather stay single, untangled, and free to mingle than stay dating someone for 28 years without a marriage certificate. Again, to each their own. In an interview with the actor and his spouse, they said, “our accountant proposed to both of us and he showed us the numbers, and we said, ‘Yeah, we should probably do it”, with Don Cheadle adding that marriage topic has come up over the years, but they always ended up never really seeing the point.
How long you should date someone before marriage is made up of collective factors which mostly would depend on your individual feelings and relationship standards. Each individual has their own relationship standard and what they want from any relationship, this is also guided by how they personally feel about the person and the chemistry.
Be aware that how long you wait to get married doesn’t determine the longevity of the marriage, some people get married just after a month of dating and stayed forever after, some people have dated for 10 years and ended up divorcing under one year of marriage.
However, these two things may help you decide how long you should wait: ‘Communication and Setting boundaries‘. Tammy Nelson, PhD, licensed relationship therapist, board-certified sexologist and author of The New Monogamy and Getting the Sex You Want, also believes that while each couple’s situation is different, it’s most important to learn how to communicate when you have a conflict, rather than focus on the time frame.
Some people are dating for dating sake and not ready for marriage so you have to make sure that the other person is in line with your marriage plan. Hence where communication comes into place. If you feel like you are ready for marriage and discuss it with your dating partner but their answer or action shows that they are not ready, then it’s up to you to move on or stay waiting for them until they make up their mind. Be mindful that when they make up their mind to get married, you may not be the type of person they want to spend the rest of their lives with simply because not everyone is dating for marriage.
This is very important past communication. You have to set boundaries as to how long you have to date that person and if they are not ready for marriage at your planned time then you can then move on, don’t hang your hopes on a tree, it could be gone with the wind. Setting boundaries helps you know when enough is enough.
At the end of the day, there is no one size fit all with this marriage thing, only you and your partner would know when the time is right. Just don’t force it.Follow Me On Social Media